Watch Before You Read.

This talk is where my work begins.

Happiness is not the absence of fear.

Happiness is what becomes possible when fear no longer makes your decisions for you.

That is where befriending fear begins. To befriend fear does not mean letting it lead. It does not mean agreeing with every fearful thought or staying small because fear is present.

It means turning toward fear with curiosity instead of shame. It means recognizing fear as a signal from the body, not proof that something is wrong.

Redefining happiness meant redefining my relationship with fear. I realized happiness was not waiting on the other side of fear disappearing. It was waiting on the other side of learning how to meet fear with compassion, listen to it, and still choose my life.

I befriended fear so it would no longer have to fight so hard to be heard. Happiness becomes less about chasing a feeling and more about returning to yourself with enough honesty to say: Fear is here. I can listen. And I can still choose.

MY STORY

This work began for me as a little girl trying to understand where I belonged.

As a Filipina American, I grew up between two cultures. I knew the beauty and strength of my family and my heritage, but I also knew what it felt like to be different, to be a minority, to be misunderstood, and at times, to be bullied or excluded because of that difference.

As a child, you do not always have the words for that. You just feel it in your body. You learn to hold back. You learn to scan the room. You learn to adapt. You learn which parts of yourself feel safe to show and which parts you should protect.

Looking back, I can see that fear was there early. But it did not always look like fear. Sometimes it looked like silence. Sometimes it looked like perfectionism. Sometimes it looked like trying to make everyone else comfortable so I could feel safe.

That is really where this work began. It began in my own healing, in realizing that fear was not something wrong with me. It was something in me trying to protect me. And when I began to befriend my fear instead of fighting it, I began to understand myself differently.

Now, as a therapist, author, and speaker, I help others do the same. I help people understand the stories their fear is carrying, especially the stories about belonging, identity, safety, and self-trust. For me, healing is about returning to the parts of ourselves we once thought we had to hide in order to be accepted.

TRAINING & CREDENTIALS

The work behind the work.

  • Doctorate in Health Sciences, Clinical Leadership 

  • Licensed Psychotherapist, #94200

  • California EMDR Certified Clinician 

  • Creator of the G.R.A.C.E. Matrix®, peer-reviewed and published in a scientific journal 

  • Brainspotting Practitioner 

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed 

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

  • TEDx Speaker 

  • Mom's Choice Award Author 

  • Readers' Favorite Honoree